Personal Post: July 18 with a bit of Irony.

This one is a personal post.

I find it incredibly ironic, that I post an abortion article, and find myself not long after that... yeah you guessed it, pregnant. I was pregnant for about four and a half months. I did consider abortion, but just as I decide not to do that and risk it... irony rears its ugly head and I lose the baby. Now that over a month has passed since this incident, I can look at it in that way. I heard a lot of "everything happens for a reason" speeches. I also heard the "he's with god now," or my personal favorite "god wanted him up there with him," I guess my son was so special that god wouldn't let me keep him. Which makes god an asshole.

According to the doctors there were no complications. All the doc could say was "it's just one of those things." Yeah... apparently it just is. I gave him a name: Andrik Elias. I got a copy of his hand and footprints. They let me hold him, he was a tiny little thing. I did not have a funeral, which a few people disagreed with me on that issue but they can shove it because I know what I can handle and I would not have been able to handle such a thing. I suffered a loss, but in my opinion, this child was not fully developed and funeral would have just been a cruel thing... to drag out the loss as long as possible. I am not that much of an attention whore. (If you found yourself in this situation and had a funeral, good for you. Its about what you want and think you should do. Don't cuss me out because I disagree... well go ahead and cuss me out but expect a response.)

My stance on abortion remains the same. I would still consider it an option for anyone who cannot, or does not want to, have a child if they find themselves with child. (Kind of a funny statement, pregnant = with child. Yeah for you maybe not but I find it hilarious.) I'd have to say that the loss was at a perfect time due to the fact that I got pregnant at a horrible time. I wasn't really sure I wanted it. And the irony of it is, that as soon as I am getting excited about it I lose it. (the lord sure does work in mysterious ways... prick.)

On another note, I happened to mention to someone that I do not believe in the bible or jesus. They asked. I wont lie about that. And so now this woman is praying for me every day trying to lead me to the path of the lord. I find that hilarious as well. Because that is a path I have been avoiding my whole life, if I happen to stumble across the path I know who to beat up. (Metaphorically, of course)

Enough kidding around, I know that my path is my own and no one can make me choose otherwise. It is just funny to me that someone will spend their prayers on me when they could be asking for things they are more likely to get, like winning the lottery.